Almost 2 miles!

I use the app Map My Walk to track my progress.

The picture of the deer is just one example of the beautiful views on my walk.

Yum!!!

Go to favorites...breakfast and lunch combines when you wake up at 3:45 in the afternoon... Goodness!

A shuffle step backwards but a full step forward...

Eating out at restaurants is not really a part of my weight issues... Restaurants are way too expensive and are never really in our budget. Also, something about the way restaurant food is prepared usually leaves me happy for only a few minutes and then quickly sicker than a dog for longer than it took me to eat the food.

However, tonight my in-laws have our child for the night and my husband felt ill so we decided just to pick up tortilla soup and other such Mexican fare.

It's hard to find a decent reasonable calorie dinner at a Mexican restaurant.
Even the taco salad is laden with greasy thigh plumpers, belly droopers and butt shifters.

So obviously I didn't do great tonight... I don't have the will power to just pick up dinner for Aaron and go home to my Cous Cous. Maybe if this was the first or second time I had sacrificed my sanity to loose weight then I could stand up to the restaurant monster but I am so over this game and just want to form habits that are reasonable and long term. No one can abstain from tex mex forever.

So I am reasonably proud of my choices tonight. They felt like very moderate choices. I got tortilla soup (Maria's has tortilla soup that is divine...shredded white chicken meat, huge fresh veggies like avocado, carrots and peppers, a thin broth without any of the cream added.)

I SKIPPED the queso, salsa and chips! That is a victory for me...

I ordered shredded chicken rolled in tortillas and served with a side of guacamole and sour cream. So not a great choice but considering that I normally eat the deep fried burrito covered in creamy cheese sauce and dipped in sour cream I think that I have achieved a reasonable, sustainable balance tonight. I'm proud of myself. I did find however that apparently Maria's is immune to my stomach ache controlling miracle that is plexus slim because even with my healthier choices... That food said "see ya-wouldn't wanna be ya" to my stomach within 30 minutes. So Maria's I have said it before and I will say it again ... I think we should go our separate ways. Really it's not you... It's my stomach. It hates you- nothing personal.

To count calories or not ... That is my burning question

So, if you have been around me for the past <idk> 5 or so years you will know that one of my biggest struggles with loosing weight is becoming overly obsessed with counting calories, exercising, etc. 

For you that might be fine and healthy but for me it is not. It's why I haven't lost or gained weight over the past 5 years because that kind of obsessive (and yes I mean OBSESSIVE) focus is not a healthy path for me. So upon my doctor's instructions, I have been trying to just listen to my body's signals and stop eating when full and avoid the foods that make me sick (except that it's almost every food- so at this point- stomach aches are the new normal). It has worked out okay for maintaining my weight.

I know... some of you are screaming "COP OUT!!!!" 

It sure sounds that way and I don't blame you. That is probably what I would say if I were skinny and able to sit a place of judgement over a fat person, or an alcoholic, or a drug user or any person with an addiction that altered their appearance in a negative way and would most likely shorten their lives. 

However, I was really just biding my time until I could get weight loss surgery. That's what I came to realize at least when I found out my insurance wouldn't cover anything related to weight loss (idiots). I realized that I cannot just sit back and be a fat person for the next 50 years. GOD PLEASE!!!!!!! Don't let that be my fate...

So the question is, how far is too far? Is there moderation in loosing weight? 

I am hoping to achieve this via Plexus Slim. I know that just by drinking the drink and taking the accelerator pill in the morning that I will continue to lose inches and pounds even if I do nothing else because the P.S. is helping me suppress my appetite and control my cravings for sugar. However, if I just do the minimum, I will lose weight at a much slower rate than if I were to actually put some effort into the process. 

For example:

The first 2 weeks I was on Plexus Slim, I went for 1 walk and 1 swim. I tracked my calories for most of the 2 weeks and tried to stay within a range of 1800 calories. I lost 8 pounds. It was very easy and painless.

The second 2 weeks I was on Plexus Slim I went out of town twice and ate whatever I wanted (just less than normal due to Plexus Slim aiding in suppressing my appetite). I didn't gain and I didn't lose.

So now I am back to trying to put a bit of effort into the process because I would love to lose more weight before I go back to work (I'm a teacher) on August 20th. I like the fact that with Plexus Slim, if I do choose to take a break from the focused effort to lose weight, I can do so without worrying about gaining back everything that I have lost. That helps me keep up with that moderation mind set. As well, even when I was putting more effort into the process during the first 2 weeks, I wasn't jumping into obsessive land. 1 mile of walking in 2 weeks is not working out at the gym 3 times a day and running a race every weekend. I am not even close to slipping into old habits that I can't maintain. 

So my question is... do I track calories or not? I guess my answer to myself is this... track those calories. It's okay to know what you are putting into your body on an overall basis... it's not okay to weigh every ounce of everything you put into your mouth. See, I do understand moderation... really I do. 

So I am using this great app called "my net diary (pro)". It's awesome.. you can scan bar codes of the food packages you are eating and it will pull up that food. It's makes tracking calories very easy. You can also track exercise and weight loss. 

I am also reverting to some fail safe tricks that I learned in my many years of weight loss. Last night I posted about Cous Cous! Great stuff.... very low cal and fills you up. 

Today I ate another fail safe for breakfast. It's a bagel with cream cheese and canadian bacon. It's very yummy and because canadian bacon is such a low cal food it keeps the calories down even though I am eating it with higher calorie products such as the bagel and cream cheese. The only thing that would have made it better would have been a slice of tomato. I can't believe I forgot tomato!!!! It's a very filling meal and has some protein and dairy mixed in. I included screen shots of my net diary with breakfast calculated along with a picture of my breakfast sandwich for your viewing pleasure. 

Manna from Heaven

I love Cous Cous with cranberries. It's low cal, low fat and oh so filling!
Almost like fresh fruit but a lot cheaper.

Fatty McKatty says "no ice cream for you!"

So I'm not at all hungry but I'm thinking "ice cream sure sounds good..."

Yeah... Kitty disagreed. Right as I was going to lazily exit my recliner my big old fatty mckatty jumped up and got in my face. I think he was saying, "Hey Fatty, there is only room for one plus sized sexy beast in this family and that beast is me. So back off the ice cream thunder thighs!" ...or maybe he just wanted extra lovins... Who knows? Either way, between the 200 lb cat on my chest and the plexus slim working it's magic I decided that I really didn't want the ice cream anyhow. Score 1 for thunder thighs!

Check out fatty McKatty giving me the "back off the ice cream" stink eye.

The results of month 1 are in!!!

Starting Weight as of June 30, 2012
258.5

Weight as of July 25, 2012
250.5

Would you like to give Plexus a try for free?

Do you want to join me and loose weight as well? If you are happy with your weight would you like to control your sugars or gain energy?

If you would like to try a 3 day trial just comment on this blog or message me on facebook or contact me at amberforgey@hotmail.com. I will send a free trial pack your way. If you like it and you want to order a month supply it will cost you around 130 for 1 month. If you become a preferred member (the best and cheapest option) you will pay around 115 each month. You can cancel your preferred membership at any time and you can return the product for a refund if you don't feel like it's working out the way you expected. You have nothing to loose but the weight and the fatigue. Check out the product details at http://amberforgey.myplexusproducts.com/.

If you think you might commit to a month, your best bet is to skip the free trial and go straight to the preferred member status because I promise that once you start the free trial you won't want to wait the 5 days for shipping to receive your first month. You will want to take off down your new path without a gap in the program. Trust me that it is easy to cancel any future orders and you will get it at the cheapest price possible.

So far after a month of trying this product, I have not experienced any ill side effects. The benefits of my improved digestion, controlled appetite, extra energy and decreased dependency on diet coke have been  amazing... oh yeah and I lost weight and inches! Check out the next post for the pictures that show a slight difference in my tummy region after 1 month of Plexus Slim.

The Plexus weight loss journey begins...

So here is where my newest chapter begins. In a week I will start my second month of Plexus Slim. I am about to see my weight in the 240 range which is a number I haven't seen in 5 years. If I continue to just drink the drink every morning and take 1 small pill, I will continue to loose small amounts of weight and I would not be surprised if I am at my goal weight by this time next year. If I actually were to try to limit my calories to around 1800 and/or take a 1 or 2 mile walk everyday or even every other day, I will loose it much faster with the aide of Plexus Slim.

I hope you will join me on this newest journey. You can cheer me on, revel in the fact that you are skinny, or join me in trying out Plexus Slim so that you can have more energy or maybe you will start to loose weight along side me with Plexus Slim in your corner. I will promise this: I am honest. You will know my successes and my low moments. I will be honest about side effects if I come across any. Let me know if you want a free trial of Plexus Slim for 3 days before taking the plunge.

I'm done crying over spilled milk...

So, now that my gastric bypass dreams have been dashed... what next?
(Other than crying in my car outside of the doctor's office or lying in bed feeling sorry for my own fat self)


My sister suggested I try a product called "Plexus Slim".

Her sister-in-law had started using Plexus Slim and had remarkable results. (Honestly I thought she had gastric bypass because the results and speed of weight loss were that dramatic) My nephew tried it and saw some quick results which was cool. However, what peaked my interest was that my Dad started Plexus Slim. My Dad has type 2 diabetes. His blood sugars run around 230 usually. After starting Plexus Slim his blood sugars came down to around an average of 130. That caught my attention because even though my blood sugars are stable for now I can't help but wonder if my digestive issues are caused by pre-diabetic issues. My sister already has a gorgeous figure but she went ahead and tried it and found that she had an abundance of energy when she drank "the pink drink" which was something she really needed with 3 kids and her own Psychotherapy practice. Then my mother got on board. My mother spent her younger years trying fad diets. Because of her history with the yo-yo dieting and fad diets, she does not normally try weight loss programs. I told my sister, if Mom can find success on this product then I will try it..
Sure enough Mom started to loose inches and see a gap in her pants. So I decided to try it. I said I would give it a month. I was 266 when I went to the weight loss doctor (and was told that my insurance wouldn't pay for gastric bypass- a serious low point for me) a week before I started Plexus Slim. I didn't weigh myself for the first 2 days that I was on the Plexus Slim trial because I really thought it wouldn't do anything for me.

After the second day on it I decided to weigh myself to get a starting weight. I was 258.5. I took measurements and pictures of my starting weight. Within 2 weeks I was down to 250.5. During that time, I drank the Plexus Slim drink in the morning (the drink tastes like crystal light) and took the Accelerator pill (1 small gel cap) after breakfast. That's it. I walked 1 mile on 1 day. I found it was easy to cut down on my intake of food but I didn't allow myself to go to extremes. I stopped craving sugar as much and my taste for diet coke was diminished. I went from approximately 8 diet cokes a day to between 2-3 a day. If this is going to work long term it has to be natural for me. I cannot give in to the anorexic/bullemic mentality of my past so I did not push myself at all beyond natural inclinations. I had more energy... my house, laundry, dishes... all are taken care of. I usually struggle with feeling like a slug.

I had hoped for more weight loss like that over the next 2 weeks but I went on vacation several times and found myself eating a lot of restaurant food. I didn't loose anymore weight but I also didn't gain. Here is the biggest thing that happened though... I stopped becoming sick every time I ate. That's HUGE! I would use this product just to regulate my digestive system and control my sugar cravings.... weight loss or not. So many times on our vacation my husband said, "uh oh, that's gonna make you sick" and every time I was able to hold onto my food. It's a new found freedom for me not to have to constantly be aware of the nearest bathroom.

The history of the fabulous Fatty...

My teenage years were strong, lean years. I was an athlete and worked out due to my sports. I was between 120 and 135 all through my teen years. I became fat when I went to college. I am 5'7". I weighed 150 when I arrived at college. My highest weight in college was around 190. I lost weight at the end of college for my wedding by following Jenny Craig. I went from 190 to 165. I gained that all back in my first years of marriage plus some to reach a beautiful weight of 220. Then I lost again right before getting pregnant by following Weight Watchers online and using a personal trainer- all the way down to around 170. During this time period my obsession with exercise began to enter anorexia land. My pregnancy landed me at my highest weight of 250. I lost again after I had my daughter. I went from 250 to 185 by going to Weight Watchers meetings and running races. Again, anorexic tendencies of starving myself and exercising at an obsessive rate started to battle with moments of binge eating and purging. Eventually I self destructed and ended up at my highest weight of 266. For 5 year, I have stayed within the same 10 pounds. My highest of that range being 266 and my lowest of the range being 255. I have some sort of issue digesting the food I consume because I become physically ill after almost every meal... specifically when I eat dairy, sugar, carbs, anything made in grease, anything saturated with fat, etc. I don't know why... my doctor doesn't know why. I have had all of the blood tests. My levels are perfect. My blood pressure is good. I am healthy as a horse and I weigh as much as one too. Food is a very painful issue for me and it tends to make me angry. 

So why am I trying to loose weight this time? I had planned to have Gastric Bypass. I know some people who have done it and the results are remarkable. I didn't realize how much stock I was putting into a future after gastric bypass until it was no longer an option. My insurance won't cover anything weight related. My husband's insurance won't either. I was devastated. 

Oh, the things that people feel they can say to me...

Here are my most favorite comments from people about my weight:

Maybe if you would just drink more water...

You should eat fish...

Just go for a walk everyday...

Just cut down your portions...

Try cutting out gluten... 

Try cutting out carbs...

Try cutting out sugar...

Give up the diet cokes...

Don't eat after 7...

Don't eat after 5...

Eat raw food...

Eat organic...

Eat lots of colors..

and the list goes on and on and on.

Listen- I appreciate that people care about how fat I am. Really I do... because you know... it's normal to walk up to an alcoholic and offer unsolicited advice such as  "... maybe if you just tried cutting out beer" or "drink 1 less drink a day" or anyone else with any other addiction and offer up easy solutions. Obviously it wouldn't be an addiction if there were a simple solution.

I know... Hot Stuff right? Who's with me?

So... 

Here I am in all of my glory. I am trying once again to loose weight. This is tough. I have been here so many times, lost the weight, posted pictures, felt proud, felt good, gained the weight back. I swore I was done... I would just be fine being fat. However, you never are really "fine" with being fat. At least... I'm not. I hate it. I hate the way I look and feel. I hate the fact that there never seems to be enough personal space between my fat layers and other people. I hate the fact that I feel like less of a woman because I "don't take care of my appearance". I hate the fact that I have to crop pictures or only take pictures of my face so that no one really sees how fat I am on facebook. Well, guess what? The cat is out of the bag. I am FAT. As the doctors put it I am morbidly obese. I am at a high risk for diabetes. I am at a risk for heart disease. I have to shop at the fat girl store. I hate every second of being fat.